can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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