I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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