so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
