Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
