See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize