I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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