You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
