Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think I sprained my soul last night
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
