kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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