he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
