Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
