Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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