i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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