Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
