Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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