Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize