I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
