i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I want her autograph on my taint
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
