You really coming over, don't trick.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
