he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
