i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
