By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
