lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize