people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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