Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
