What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
