spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
