You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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