look no pants
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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