i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
