You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
