I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
