Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
