Buhtt sex?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
