Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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