wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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