My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love having hate sex.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
