it hurts more in the daytime
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
