Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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