i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
