last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize