just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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