In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
