I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize