Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
