what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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