she was so not down for the gang bang
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
