I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
