oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
