He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
