we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
