There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I came so hard my ears popped.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize