My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
