New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
