somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i will never coherently bang her
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
