Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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