it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
