just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
