Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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