M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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