He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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