every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My dick has a subreddit
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
