I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
