the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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