I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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