I'm drive I can fine osifer
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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