I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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