Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
