Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
