its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
