There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
