Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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